My "Funny" Valentines

Examine these photos.



The top one: cuddly, lovey-dovey.



It's a Valentine card.



I love Valentines. I was born on Valentine's Day. This means I think of myself as cuddly and lovey-dovey, like it's an inborn quality because of my birthday.



I call the top photo, "The Beginning."



Now examine the bottom photo.







This photo I call "The End."



This seems to be how all my relationships end up. I am alternately the critter on top, then the one on bottom.

What is going on? Okay, I was raised in a less than unconditionally loving and supportive home, with parents who were at each other's throats for 25 years until my Dad died (they never divorced.) But, I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, been treated for every addiction and mood disorder available, joined every group, worked every step, read every self-help book on the market, studied abnormal psychology, particularly personality disorders, memorized the DSM IV, freelance diagnosed my lovers, friends, and neighbors, indepth research on sociopathic personalities, dissected (so to speak) the lives of serial killers, tried spiritual love fests and yoga and talk shows and poetry and couples counseling.

I always thought of myself (because of my birthday) as the Queen of Hearts. But Alas! Perhaps I am...the Queen of Broken Hearts...

My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine, Sweet comic valentine, You make me smile with my heart.

Your looks are laughable, unphotographable, Yet you're my favorite work of art.

Is your figure less than greek, Is your mouth a little bit weak

When you open it to speak, are you smart?

Don't, baby don't, Don't change your hair for me, Not if you care for me!

Stay, little valentine, stay,

Each day is Valentine's Day!

(Richard Rogers/Lorenz Hart)

...and they lived happily ever after. The End.